Jensen Ackles starring in THE MASS SPIDER SLAYING SHOCKER (not yet rated)

posted on behalf of Smileyone

Following on from our recent post DEAN WINCHESTER IN WIDE-FIT SHOCKER, we here at the Crazy Buckets Office came across a very interesting semi-related article on Jensen Ackles & his pretty big feet. An article entitled 'Shape Of Things To Come' featured in the recent Titan's Official Supernatural Magazine [which we really love reading btw] Jensen Ackles was quoted saying the following:

''Just the other night, when I was getting into bed, I picked up the sheet and slid my legs underneath and as I was about to put the sheet back down on my chest, a spider suddenly dropped down from inside the sheet, right next to me on the mattress and I was just like, 'what?' I got it with my hand, put it on the floor, and then stepped on it.''

Interesting stuff we think you'll all agree. Although a bit sad for the unexpected demise of the poor spider (a second silence please) and ok, moment over… back to Jensen!

At first we were having images of a big clump of spider goop being stuck to Jensen's underfoot…

(Jensen, serial spider killer)

...but then we started thinking about just how much of a serial spider killer our Jensen may actually be? We started seeing the spider bodies piling up all round his bed. Maybe he has already started to fashion a little moat around his bed (ugh). A big moat to separate his little bed from the rest of the world. Maybe that's why we don't see so much of him about when Supernatural is not on TV… see, where we are coming from? We're starting to worry here…
We came to this conclusion as he continued to say:

"I don't like them, but they don't frighten me.If that would've have been anybody else I know, it would've been, 'WAHHHHHHH!' What's amazing is that if you think about how many spiders you don't see. That's more scary to me then actually seeing one, because if I see one then I know where it is and I can take care of it… [ btw "Taking care of it"don't see that can mess with my head.'' doesn't always mean killing it, surely?]...but it's all the ones I don't see that can mess with my head.''

( Kinda like these scary bitches, Jensen?)

We're thinking spiders around Jensen's house have started to view his bed area as 'Spider Graveyard' i.e. the place where they all go to die!

See, in Jared's bedroom space, because we've heard that that boy is up at all stupid o'clock-o'times of the day and night pounding pavements an such, he has worked out how to confuse them! It's daytime all the time in Jared's room! Spiders say 'Oh, coming up to night time, soon time to go out hunting… oops, daytime again… staying in again' -thus starving them all to death in their little hidey holes (genius!) Therefore, they all then head into Jensen's room in their droves to catch a last meal before stomping time!

Really, we here at Buckets, have started getting worried. Jensen will have built such a big wall up around his bed using all these dead spider goop, legs, squishy bodies etc… that very soon, we may never see him again!

(So maybe he is really Spiderman?)

In an effort to stop this from happening, we want to suggest some ways to use up all this spider stuff, before he makes it his life's mission to rid the world of every arachnid!

1. We thought we'd suggest he gathers up a load of goop and makes some protein enriched shakes for Jared to have each day before he goes out pavement pounding…
2. Or maybe mixing some in with his cereal in the mornings, adding a bit more fiber to his diet
3. He could stick them all in a big material bag and make a huge big comfy beanbag out of them
4. He could even mix some in with a bit of glue, wrap it all up in a bit of cling film and make some really interesting looking weights for Jared [Shhhh, Jared, look away now or you will have spoiled Jensen's next birthday present for you… :D] ...the possibilities are truly endless.

Yes indeedy, we think of everything here at Buckets, so you can thank us later Jensen, we don't mind.