So it has happened. Dean couldn’t wiggle out of his contract, lost his soul and is now stuck in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon who introduces him to the place:
Demon: Why the sour face?
Dean: What do you think? I'm in hell you son of a bitch!
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?
Dean: Sure, I love to drink.
Demon: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, Tequila, Beer, Purple Nurples, Tab, Jagermeister... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more.
Dean: Gee, that sounds great.
Demon: You like to eat?
Dean: You better believe it.
Demon: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get Pizza, Tacos, Burgers, a Cheeseplatter from around the world and the biggest steaks you have seen. If you get high cholesterol, it's okay... you're already dead.
Dean: No kidding!
Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Dean: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Demon: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, Blackjack, Horse Races, Roulette, you name it, we got it. We even opened up a Pai Gow Poker table.
Dean: Hmmm, I never played Pai Gow before...
Demon: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?
Dean: Erm, no, not really...
Demon: Doesn’t matter! Thursday is drug day. You can help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's okay... you're already dead.
Dean: Hm, true I guess. I never realized that hell was such a swingin' place!
Demon: You gay?
Dean: Uh, no.
Demon: Oooh (grimaces), you're gonna hate Fridays.
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